Lessons Learned

It’s still spring, but we haven’t seen the sun since my last post three weeks ago. We still have the bunnies, and I now have a mouse who lives with me in my room and who has also been bold enough to scamper over my BARE BACK and jolt me into complete panicked awakeness in the middle of the night! It doesn’t have long to live. . . I see glue traps in its future.
In any case, the continuous rain and gray has been pretty analogous to my state of mind and heart these days. While I can’t do anything about the weather, I’ve been doing what I can to lift my spirits, including resorting to such extreme measures as eliminating alcohol from my diet and fantasizing about the mass murder of people and mice who annoy me. When it finally happens, the police and media can point to this particular blog and say, “See, she gave warning signals but we just didn’t listen. . . “
All exaggerations aside, spring is off to a slow start, evidently, but I continue to work on a few projects to keep me distracted until I can stretch out in the sun like a lizard. One such project is the recovery of my stolen tightwire. Yes, my tight wire rig was stolen last May from the circus school where I kept it in a locked closet. And yes, I know who stole it. But this person, who I cannot name until we go to court, repeatedly ignored mine and the SF police department’s requests to give it back. And the police department repeatedly ignores my request to help me get the property back, which has since been moved to Boston. This is the first time I have been thrust into this no-win situation where I get victimized twice or thrice. First, I have something stolen—Incident 1 of the victimization. Then, I have no recourse to getting it back, despite the fact that I know who took it—Incident 2. And I am not able to find this scumbag and where he keeps MY property or trick him in a sting operation because then he can countersue me for slander and any number of stupid things—Incident 3. But the statute of limitations for theft in San Francisco is 3 years, so I have 2 more years to find him and get my tight wire back. Or course in the past 6 months I’ve had several lucrative offers of tightwire work. It just figures.
There is a moral to this story. I used to be a nice and giving person. Also very forgiving. I have learned valuable lessons in the past year or so and one that is reinforced to me on a daily basis, whether in a professional or relationship context, is that NO ONE gets what they want by being nice. If you want something you must be a completely manipulative, controlling, and somewhat abusive asshole who just TAKES what they want. But instead of turning into one of those people, I have instead chosen to want nothing. See, isn’t that much easier?

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